Rambling thoughts

The year that changed me forever

Today I wanted to talk about 2016, and how this is the year that changed me forever. Medication The initial plan at the beginning of this year was that I would be drug-free by this time.  Thoughts …

Source: The year that changed me forever

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Daily Post · Rambling thoughts

Cast your nets

Daily Prompt: Voyage

Cast upon the world your nets of hopeful wealth and reel back your bounty.  What treasures do you behold, captured in the knotted sinew?


I cast out my net each evening before I go to bed. As I drift off to sleep I wonder what I will see come morning light. The treasures that come late in the night through my dreams are not all mine to keep, so they flow right on through the openings.  Those that remain are memories of you.

Of times when we laughed at silly childish things.  Of the dancing in circles while others joined in celebration of the simpler times in our lives.  These fragments of us are what is caught in the evening net.

In the morning, I cast the net out again hoping to capture more wealth.  I am not a greedy person!  Through the day I go about my business with everyday things.  The mundane, meaningful life of adults in a complex world.  My mind doesn’t think back to the net for the entire day, until after sunset.

As the sun is setting I retrieve my net for the second time.  Inside it a different bounty awaits.  For inside the blackened threads are the golden words of wisdom.  These remind me that I have survived today.  Through the void of dissociation and depersonalization of self, all the words repeat the same message — You are you, regardless of your name.

My net is filled with a wealth not of money, but of memories.  From there I can pull from all that I need to sustain my voyage of life.

Shared to my other blog: A Girl Named Laura

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Photos · Weekly blog post

Trains of old

It was during a trip in 2014 to Toronto, Ontario that we came across a group of retired trains.  Polished and lined up in the central yard here they stand silent as if they were quietly waiting their last run out.

Encompassing the yard are the old spiral tracks leading back to the large doors that once served as their homes.  Time has long since passed since these engines left the yard, but their memories of travels still remain.  The numbers above each door designating the train it held.

train doors-1

Photo Challenge: The Daily Post, Numbers

Bloging U · Daily Post

20 Days of Inspiration #1

Day #1 – I write because…

It makes me feel connected to my spirit.  The posts I send out to the world connect to other souls, building a foundation of virtual friendships that I would never have found behind these frozen walls that I sit behind everyday.  With my writing and photography I open up myself to others.  Some criticize the topics I choose, others offer support. This is humanity at its finest.  To place ones soul out there, unprepared, unconcealed, raw and real.

Discover the Lexeme is a blog that evolved into a creature of its own.  Starting from a way to remove my writing from my older mental health page, then slowly I intertwined my photography to make it complete.

Finding a name for blog was easy.  I wanted to break down the idea of words to the most basic of structure, there introduced the idea of a new word – lexeme.

I’d never heard of such a word.  A word that sounds more like a Dr. Seuss character, but it fits perfectly for my vision.  Words can stand alone can make such a difference.  A single one can depict an emotion, a sight, a sense of wellness or just a time and place.

A photo can do the same.  Discover the Lexeme for me is my secret place.  It’s the place I share my thoughts, my dreams, my art, and everything else I feel is worthy of interest.

To me blogging is a form of vindication and preservation.  So let me ask, what fills your cup full of inspiration? #everydayinspiration

dusty amber wine glass against green wall
A question, is the glass upside down or right side up?
Rambling thoughts · Weekly blog post

The 5K Mother’s Day gift

If we were having coffee you’d see me stressing over the money being spent today as I listen to the roofers banging away while they fix up the leaking roof of our 90 year-old house.  When we purchased our home a little under ten years ago I knew it would come with some repairs; I just didn’t think the roof would be one of them so soon.

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Cracking and peeling ceiling

Having plaster walls we seldom give little concern to the subtle cracks that constantly appear. Last weekend though things began to look rather bleak.  When my husband and I returned from the trailer our daughter informed us that her bedroom ceiling had been leaking through the night during the heavy rainfall.

My husband had a roofer come look yesterday morning to determine where the problem might be. Upon inspection they both immediately spotted where the leaking was coming from.  Shingles were missing creating a way for the water to get in.  We don’t know how long this had been going on since spring rains have just started here, but we had been noticing shingles on the ground since last fall.  We have a neighbour with a bad roof, and assumed that they were his.  I guess we were wrong.

This isn’t the first time this old house has leaked.  We have an on going issue with the mysterious leak in the mudroom.  This roofer says he knows how to fix it though.  I’m hopeful he does.  We have already had that roof re-shingled once before.  The issue with it seems to be a result of bad flashing between the tiny roof and the house.  He assures me this will be done properly, so that there be no more waterfall effects in the doorway leading to the kitchen when the rain comes.  The dog will be thankful since that’s right where her bed is.

I’m trying my best to keep on the positive side of thinking knowing the leak is being handled before today’s rain.  Also, that as I watch the workmen outside, I feel assured that it isn’t my husband up there trying to do the repairs himself.

 

Rambling thoughts · Weekly blog post

A little dose of cat hair

If we were having coffee the first thing you’d notice is our oldest cat Big Ben, or Ben for short.  I think he’s around 18-20 years old now.  We don’t know his real age because he was a rescue with a sad tale of abandonment.

Cat laying down
Ben – that adorable black mark on his nose

Don’t you worry though.  For the last 15 or so years he’s enjoyed the good life.  He’s an indoors man, who gets to bask in the warm sunlight and eat all day long.  He sleeps comfortably wherever he wishes.  He’s a talker too.  Open up a cheese slice, and he chatters non-stop.  Unfortunately he can’t have the treats like he once did, but he does manage to talk you into a just a wee bite.

Ben is a very loving cat.  The down side to his love is his thick coat.  The white hair is everywhere!  No matter how much I vacuum it still remains.  I have to warn people all the time that if they begin to pet him, they will leave with part of him.  His hair clings to everything.

We love Ben! He’s the most interesting cat in the world, and we will be sad to see the day when we have to say our good-byes to him.  Hopefully that won’t be anytime soon.

Daily Post · Rambling thoughts

He loves my curves

I’m 47 years old, a mother of four and married to a man who thinks I’m beautiful!  Life should be great.  Yet, the nagging thoughts of those bumps, rolls and shall we call them ‘curves’ can cause me great personal pain.

As I look back on the photos of my 20’s I see my younger body, with the tight tummy, the tiny little breasts and the tighter butt.  Now though through a combination of age, bad diet and lack of exercise I’m about 2x the size I was back then.  I was a 5, now I’m a 10/12 in dress sizes.

There was a time I use to really beat myself up over my new curves.  I stopped doing that, most days.  Instead I see myself the way my family does, especially my husband.

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He’s always adored this body, no matter how big those curves got.  He mentions that I still have great hips with a waist curve he can’t get enough of.  So for women out there that are looking into their mirrors and see only the negative, look again.  Those curves are what make us women.  They define our beauty.  For every curve there is a reason for it being in just that right place.

So be proud, and never regret not having the straight body…because women let’s be honest even those girls have curves, they are just more subtle.

Written for Daily Prompt: Curves

Daily Post · Rambling thoughts

Hey that’s mine!

Have you ever walked out to the parking lot only to realize that you’ve lost your car?  It stirs a moment of incredible worry for some people.  Of course you do eventually find the vehicle, and with a sigh of relief you drive home or to your next destination.

Now consider this.   Perhaps it was your bike that you’ve lost.  You had chained it up as safely as you could using the best gauge of metal, wrapped in thick plastic and with a custom keycode.  It should be in the same place when you return, but it isn’t.  It’s gone!

In our community this is called borrowing.  It’s outright stealing, but the difference is that the individual who took your bike just needs it to go from point A to point B.  They do not want to sell it.

I’m not sure what is going on in peoples’ minds today towards value of property, or of self. It all seems to be steady slipping away.  Is that what we have become?  Are we developing into such a society that we proceed to infer that we own everything, and that everything can be bartered for.

There are many things in life you cannot borrow, yet we make reference to that phrase all the time. “Can I borrow you for just a minute?”, is a favorite of mine.  Actually no, you can’t because once my minute is gone, it’s gone.

Borrowing, to me has become an excuse for not taking responsibility for your own self.  It’s a poor excuse, but one that has become prolific.  So please, stop borrowing!  Ask politely to use other peoples time, energy, resources, and possessions, then give it back.  If you don’t return the borrowed items, then you have stolen it from the individual who generously gave it to you.

manners

Written in response to The Daily Post: Borrowed
https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/borrowed/

Daily Post · Rambling thoughts

Do you miss me this much?

If we were having coffee you would see the smile on my face as I think about you.

Today the morning sky is bright and blue; yesterday they were filled with grey bleakness.  I love days that begin brighter, but I miss you.  They show me that each day passes, with a new one taking it place.

This morning I got up, ate breakfast, and went to work.  Just another typical Saturday, but without you.

The house is quiet, except for the roaring sound of the furnace as it blows its warmth into the chilly rooms, reminding that you are gone.  There is no one else here.  I am alone in my thoughts.  My memories flash to times that we laughed, cried, fought and loved.  I miss you.

I know we’ll see each other soon enough. When you return, and we sit under the stars, I will listen to the wondrous adventures you had while we were apart.  In my heart I will wonder have you missed me as much as I have missed you?

Sunset sky