Rambling thoughts

The year that changed me forever

Today I wanted to talk about 2016, and how this is the year that changed me forever. Medication The initial plan at the beginning of this year was that I would be drug-free by this time.  Thoughts …

Source: The year that changed me forever

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Daily Post · Rambling thoughts

Cast your nets

Daily Prompt: Voyage

Cast upon the world your nets of hopeful wealth and reel back your bounty.  What treasures do you behold, captured in the knotted sinew?


I cast out my net each evening before I go to bed. As I drift off to sleep I wonder what I will see come morning light. The treasures that come late in the night through my dreams are not all mine to keep, so they flow right on through the openings.  Those that remain are memories of you.

Of times when we laughed at silly childish things.  Of the dancing in circles while others joined in celebration of the simpler times in our lives.  These fragments of us are what is caught in the evening net.

In the morning, I cast the net out again hoping to capture more wealth.  I am not a greedy person!  Through the day I go about my business with everyday things.  The mundane, meaningful life of adults in a complex world.  My mind doesn’t think back to the net for the entire day, until after sunset.

As the sun is setting I retrieve my net for the second time.  Inside it a different bounty awaits.  For inside the blackened threads are the golden words of wisdom.  These remind me that I have survived today.  Through the void of dissociation and depersonalization of self, all the words repeat the same message — You are you, regardless of your name.

My net is filled with a wealth not of money, but of memories.  From there I can pull from all that I need to sustain my voyage of life.

Shared to my other blog: A Girl Named Laura

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Rambling thoughts · Weekly blog post

The 5K Mother’s Day gift

If we were having coffee you’d see me stressing over the money being spent today as I listen to the roofers banging away while they fix up the leaking roof of our 90 year-old house.  When we purchased our home a little under ten years ago I knew it would come with some repairs; I just didn’t think the roof would be one of them so soon.

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Cracking and peeling ceiling

Having plaster walls we seldom give little concern to the subtle cracks that constantly appear. Last weekend though things began to look rather bleak.  When my husband and I returned from the trailer our daughter informed us that her bedroom ceiling had been leaking through the night during the heavy rainfall.

My husband had a roofer come look yesterday morning to determine where the problem might be. Upon inspection they both immediately spotted where the leaking was coming from.  Shingles were missing creating a way for the water to get in.  We don’t know how long this had been going on since spring rains have just started here, but we had been noticing shingles on the ground since last fall.  We have a neighbour with a bad roof, and assumed that they were his.  I guess we were wrong.

This isn’t the first time this old house has leaked.  We have an on going issue with the mysterious leak in the mudroom.  This roofer says he knows how to fix it though.  I’m hopeful he does.  We have already had that roof re-shingled once before.  The issue with it seems to be a result of bad flashing between the tiny roof and the house.  He assures me this will be done properly, so that there be no more waterfall effects in the doorway leading to the kitchen when the rain comes.  The dog will be thankful since that’s right where her bed is.

I’m trying my best to keep on the positive side of thinking knowing the leak is being handled before today’s rain.  Also, that as I watch the workmen outside, I feel assured that it isn’t my husband up there trying to do the repairs himself.

 

Rambling thoughts · Weekly blog post

A little dose of cat hair

If we were having coffee the first thing you’d notice is our oldest cat Big Ben, or Ben for short.  I think he’s around 18-20 years old now.  We don’t know his real age because he was a rescue with a sad tale of abandonment.

Cat laying down
Ben – that adorable black mark on his nose

Don’t you worry though.  For the last 15 or so years he’s enjoyed the good life.  He’s an indoors man, who gets to bask in the warm sunlight and eat all day long.  He sleeps comfortably wherever he wishes.  He’s a talker too.  Open up a cheese slice, and he chatters non-stop.  Unfortunately he can’t have the treats like he once did, but he does manage to talk you into a just a wee bite.

Ben is a very loving cat.  The down side to his love is his thick coat.  The white hair is everywhere!  No matter how much I vacuum it still remains.  I have to warn people all the time that if they begin to pet him, they will leave with part of him.  His hair clings to everything.

We love Ben! He’s the most interesting cat in the world, and we will be sad to see the day when we have to say our good-byes to him.  Hopefully that won’t be anytime soon.

Daily Post · Rambling thoughts

He loves my curves

I’m 47 years old, a mother of four and married to a man who thinks I’m beautiful!  Life should be great.  Yet, the nagging thoughts of those bumps, rolls and shall we call them ‘curves’ can cause me great personal pain.

As I look back on the photos of my 20’s I see my younger body, with the tight tummy, the tiny little breasts and the tighter butt.  Now though through a combination of age, bad diet and lack of exercise I’m about 2x the size I was back then.  I was a 5, now I’m a 10/12 in dress sizes.

There was a time I use to really beat myself up over my new curves.  I stopped doing that, most days.  Instead I see myself the way my family does, especially my husband.

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He’s always adored this body, no matter how big those curves got.  He mentions that I still have great hips with a waist curve he can’t get enough of.  So for women out there that are looking into their mirrors and see only the negative, look again.  Those curves are what make us women.  They define our beauty.  For every curve there is a reason for it being in just that right place.

So be proud, and never regret not having the straight body…because women let’s be honest even those girls have curves, they are just more subtle.

Written for Daily Prompt: Curves

Daily Post · Rambling thoughts

Hey that’s mine!

Have you ever walked out to the parking lot only to realize that you’ve lost your car?  It stirs a moment of incredible worry for some people.  Of course you do eventually find the vehicle, and with a sigh of relief you drive home or to your next destination.

Now consider this.   Perhaps it was your bike that you’ve lost.  You had chained it up as safely as you could using the best gauge of metal, wrapped in thick plastic and with a custom keycode.  It should be in the same place when you return, but it isn’t.  It’s gone!

In our community this is called borrowing.  It’s outright stealing, but the difference is that the individual who took your bike just needs it to go from point A to point B.  They do not want to sell it.

I’m not sure what is going on in peoples’ minds today towards value of property, or of self. It all seems to be steady slipping away.  Is that what we have become?  Are we developing into such a society that we proceed to infer that we own everything, and that everything can be bartered for.

There are many things in life you cannot borrow, yet we make reference to that phrase all the time. “Can I borrow you for just a minute?”, is a favorite of mine.  Actually no, you can’t because once my minute is gone, it’s gone.

Borrowing, to me has become an excuse for not taking responsibility for your own self.  It’s a poor excuse, but one that has become prolific.  So please, stop borrowing!  Ask politely to use other peoples time, energy, resources, and possessions, then give it back.  If you don’t return the borrowed items, then you have stolen it from the individual who generously gave it to you.

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Written in response to The Daily Post: Borrowed
https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/borrowed/

Daily Post · Rambling thoughts

Do you miss me this much?

If we were having coffee you would see the smile on my face as I think about you.

Today the morning sky is bright and blue; yesterday they were filled with grey bleakness.  I love days that begin brighter, but I miss you.  They show me that each day passes, with a new one taking it place.

This morning I got up, ate breakfast, and went to work.  Just another typical Saturday, but without you.

The house is quiet, except for the roaring sound of the furnace as it blows its warmth into the chilly rooms, reminding that you are gone.  There is no one else here.  I am alone in my thoughts.  My memories flash to times that we laughed, cried, fought and loved.  I miss you.

I know we’ll see each other soon enough. When you return, and we sit under the stars, I will listen to the wondrous adventures you had while we were apart.  In my heart I will wonder have you missed me as much as I have missed you?

Sunset sky

 

Rambling thoughts

When words are never spoken

Silence is not golden.  Harsh words said in anger cause lasting pain.  Subtle messages disguised as jest perpetuate the undercurrents of the changes we want changed.

When words are never spoken the world continues as it always has.  There are loud voices, and there are small ones too.  It’s interesting to see how technology has changed the way we use the power of words to influence those around us.

Combining our message with video, cartoons and emoticons we have developed a new language.  A new age of communication that seeks to inform the world of what we will and will not stand for; inequality, hatred, abuse, suffering, war, etc., yet at the same time we continue to expose the pain of others for our enjoyment.

It would seem no matter how you look at which side you stand for, positive or negative there will always remain a mix.  Don’t believe me?  Have a look at what you read, shared online, or have captured in prose or image.  What pleasure have you derived from this?  What message did you expect from others?

In a complicated world of mixed messages it is no wonder we are confused about the issue of peace, love, and personal worth when there is always the opposite directly in our path.

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There two sides to every message we send out into the world.
Model dressed as pilot
Objectify women as part of a joke – aviationhumor.net
Photos · Rambling thoughts

Missed coffee due to ice storm

If we were having coffee, it would be outside on Sunday morning at 6:30 am with our cameras fighting the bitter cold winds, while trying not to fall down on the ice covered concrete of the boardwalk.  Ah yes, the quest of every photographer – the morning light.

Living on the shores of the St. Clair River across from Port Huron, Michigan the northern winds can cause the waves to crash up to 30 feet high, and pushing the spray up to 80 feet back from the shoreline.  The resulting chilly wonderland is breathtaking when the temperatures drop.

After the heavy winds of Saturday subdued, I seized the opportunity get up early and capture the golden hues of sunrise as it pushed through the cloudy skies before yet another snow storm hit our city.  While the storms have been small, the ice they leave behind is amazing!

While the following morning lacked the splash, the images where just as beautiful.  My only wish is that it hadn’t been so cloudy.  The slightest pink sunrise was very fleeting, and the poking of the sun was all too brief to get some sparkling images of the ice.

I’m sorry I missed our coffee date this weekend, but the benches were too cold to sit on anyway.

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Frozen benches look like sculptures
Photos · Rambling thoughts

Fish don’t watch TV

Every year as spring approaches the winter ice flow pushes litter that laid deep beneath the water, leaving it exposed and raw.  The beach is lateen with trash!  The ugly truth to our unconscious actions revealed.  Instead of the inviting sands provided in the summer there is the disgusting results of our shameful activities.

In 2009 while visiting a favorite spot our family found an old TV screen on the beach.  The plastic sides encased in Zebra Muscles making it look like a trinket from an ocean gift shop!  Sadly this is what is in our Great Lake waters.

I wonder how it ever it made into the water, or better yet, who would have thrown it away when it could have been recycled properly.  Was it all together when they tossed it into the water?  The prevalence of garbage on the beaches after the winter thaw is always disheartening.  The amount of plastics we find is increasing each year.

Our family tries to help clean up the areas where we visit.  Taking along a bag of our own, we pick up trash and deposit into the bins for pick up. Unfortunately our bags are made of plastic too.  There doesn’t seem to be much else around these days.

I remember having the choice to have paper or plastic bags at the grocery store.  Now the push is on for adding to the income of the plastic producers as you have the option of purchasing the five cent disposable bag or the two dollar recycled plastic coated sacks to reduce the use of disposable ones.  It’s an unwinnable argument on recycling.  The plastic from the disposables make the other, but regardless of which neither will break down.

When the times come, and we finally realize the amount of garbage produced outweighs us in pounds, what will be our solution?  We’ve destroyed where we live in the name of everything we can think of, yet we’ve also tried to save it a bit at a time.  The question on my mind, will there ever be a balance?

Look around you; how many items within a three foot radius are made from plastic.  The keyboard your typing on, your mouse your navigating with, the screen you’re reading my words on, and even the speakers you’re listening to music through… all plastic.  The modern age of progress is killing us, yet I don’t believe we have the capacity to stop the evolution of destruction to our planet.  We’ve all become so technologically advanced, connected as one, that to take away the element of plastic would be like a death to our civilization.